Seven years ago, I sat down on a curb near my home, sobbing, and asked God to help me. I had just had surgery for throat cancer. I still had a trache in my throat. I had been told that if I didn't stop smoking and drinking immediately, I'd die. I desperately didn't want to die. I adored my wife and children.
But I knew I couldn't stop. I'd started smoking when I was twelve and drinking when I was 14. I was now 57 years old.
I cried and begged God to help me . . . and He did. I hadn't prayed since I was a boy. I had made fun of God and those who loved God in my writings. And now, through my sobs, I heard myself asking God to help me . . . and from the moment I asked, He did.
I didn't at first understand why He did. I didn't deserve His help, I thought. I was unworthy. I ignore Him for forty years and then suddenly I ask Him to help me and He does? It took me some time to understand that God helped me because He loves me. Because even though we don't deserve God's love, God loves us - all of us.
Not only did He give me the strength to be able to defeat my addictions, He saved my life. My throat surgeon, Dr. Marshall Strome, told me seven years after the surgery that I am "cured." Not that I am in remission, but that I am cured. That my throat tissue has regenerated so remarkably that even a doctor examining my throat wouldn't be able to tell that there was ever cancer there. Dr. Strome, who had removed about eighty percent of my larynx, called this "a miracle."
I call it that, too...
Posted by Joe Eszterhas on September 9, 2008. See the complete post at: http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/guestvoices/2008/09/my_base_instincts_and_gods_lov.html
God's basic instinct
Joe Eszterhas is a Hollywood screenwriter whose box office hits (Basic Instincts, Showgirls, Flashdance) have grossed over $1 billion. He is known for work that is dark and violent: